Story of the Place the People of Denmark Hold in the World

as told by the Polish Capitaine Krzystof Krzyzanowski, in the service of the Bourbon French East Indies Fleet and commanding officer of His Most Christian Majesty's Ship Worcester, to Rear Admiral Sir Haakon Dazs, Governor General of the Royal Danish Colony of Tranquebar, on 16 August 1782.

 
Did I ever tell you the story about the creation of Denmark?

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael, see what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, Eastern Asia will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Western Asia is going to be poor; North America over there will be thinly populated. Over here I've placed a continent of white people and down there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while that one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a particularly pretty place and asked, "What's that one?"

"'Denmark', the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful lakes, peaceful woods, streams, exquisite grasslands, and a particularly beautiful place the people will call 'Kobnhavn'. The people from Denmark are going to be modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hardworking and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. They will be admired by all who come across them."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then exclaimed, "What about balance, God? ...You said there will be BALANCE!"





[pause for theatrical effect]





God nodded sagely. "Of course there is," he replied. "Just wait till you see the vicious, arrogant, self-important squareheads I've put next to them in Sweden and Germany!"


© Copyright 2000 by Steven S. Becker.

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